Ten Reasons Not To Cheat On Your Spouse

1. You’d have to shave your legs.
2. You’d lose all that leverage you’ve acquired from that time he got a hand-job in Tahoe.
3. The guy you cheat with is the same asshole as your husband, with different hair.
4. Do you really want to start training someone new?
5. What if you’ve forgotten how, after all those years married?
6. Your kids would instinctively know you’re messing around and grow up to date women whose main job accessory is a pole.
7. Cheating is like baseball- one torn condom and you’ve messed up your entire career.
8. You’re not going to get Olivier Martinez in a rare book loft in SoHo, more likely a rabbit-boiling trucker from Poughkeepsie.
9. You just think your wedding ring doesn’t leave a tan line.
10.The Bible and shit.

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