(And in brackets a possible response to those people from that someone, who is usually too polite to say it.)
- G-d only gives us what we can handle. (Oh yeah did G-d text you this morning and tell you that?)
- It is what it is. (Well it isn’t what it isn’t, and since we already know that it is what it, in fact, is, what is the point of saying it at all?)
- Have you read Louise Hay, she totally cured her cancer with positive thought patterns. Perhaps you just need to heal your relationship with your spleen/mother. (I know a few people who can ride unicycles, does that mean everyone should be able to?)
4. This is just an opportunity for healing. (Really? I thought it was an opportunity to slap you in the face.)
5. This is just happening because “the Universe” wants to teach you a valuable lesson. (Again, let me know when you’ve heard from “the Universe” what that lesson is, and get back to me…)
6. There is nothing to be afraid of; you are simply transitioning from the earth plane. (You’re just saying that because you’ve never died.)
7. Perhaps next time you will come back as a supermodel/a Labradoodle/the President. (I’ll take the Labradoodle for 500 thanks Tom.)
8. This is just a karmic debt from another lifetime that has to be repaid, so you can move on. (Yeah tell that to my kids, jackass.)
9. I know just how you feel, once I fell over in the parking lot and my life flashed before my eyes and dude, it was so scary. (Oh what a shame you lived to tell me about it.)
10. Have you tried yoga? (Yes, that’s the only reason I have been able to keep from maiming you.)
I know all this because I probably said at least six out of ten out of these things to someone today. Sometimes when you just don’t know what to say, say nothing and listen. In the silence, you may hear the voice of your own gratitude, the other person’s courage, and the possibility of grace for you both.
‘After you’re done with that…’
‘How quickly do you think your husband/wife will begin to date…’
‘I really like that ring…’
#2 is my least favourite but some of those others were absolutely horrible too.