1. Marilyn is in every man over thirty’s spank-bank .

2. Other kids’ dads would treat me differently if I looked like Marylin Monroe.

3. Blondes may not have more fun, but if fun was about getting attention, then they do.

4. Men will follow at a flash of blonde hair like a greyhound follows a rabbit.

5. If I cut my hair and dyed it blonde, I would (hypothetically) get a lot of dick.

6. Boys under twenty also love blondes (although they may not know exactly who you’re dressed as.)

7. Cleavage gets you free drinks (non alcoholic in my case.)

8. People identify redheads so much by their hair, that once you take it away, people you’ve known for years don’t recognize you. It’s like changing your race.

9. My own children don’t recognize me when I change my hair color.

10. My husband is one lucky fuck.