Ten Reasons To Be Proud Of Yourself Right Now

1. You didn’t kill anyone today, including but not limited to your spouse, your children or your pet(s).
2. You refrained from giving anyone the finger in traffic (double points if you live in Los Angeles and drive during Rush Hour.)
3. You hauled yourself out of bed in the morning. I don’t care if it was just to eat a breakfast of fried donuts and whipped cream, but you got out of bed and for that you deserve credit, damn it.
4. You took a shower. Washing yourself, only to get dirty again? Then clean, then dirty, ad infinitum? Seems pointless and archaic doesn’t it? And yet you did it. At least once this week, you washed the detritus from your foul body and earned your own undying admiration.
5. You said, “I don’t know.” Someone asked you something (a child, a co-worker, a homeless person) and you responded honestly that the answer was outside the scope of your understanding. You didn’t bullshit something, you humbly admitted failure to understand something without Googling it. Such modesty is great in the eyes of the Lord (so they say.)
6. Speaking of the Lord, you did at least one of the Ten Commandments. Besides not killing anyone, let’s face it, those stone tablets were mad overwritten, yo. As a writer, I’m always trimming the fat of my work, and yet G-d totally got flowery with it. Three commandments would have been fine, feel good if you just kept two. Whose neighbor has an ass to covet anyway? (Not that kind of ass…)
7. You have children, and yet your knuckles don’t drag on the ground. I have been unendingly impressed by parents’ resilience in the face of the mundane/shit-sucking/rewarding task that is parenting. Bask in your ability to stand upright when tiny creatures are trying to drag you down to their level.
8. You fed someone. A child, a pet, another human, a plant, you deigned to give it nourishment. Did you open a pack of ramen noodles and stick them in hot water? Doesn’t matter, you’re a saint.
9. You paid money for something. That’s right you and you alone are keeping your great country’s economy humming along with your purchasing power. You unfurled a couple of dollars, pounds or Euros and though it hurt you to do it, parted with them for some measly, over-priced item. You didn’t steal, tempting as it was when all and sundry were gouging you for money.
10. You did something nice for yourself. Did you take a walk, sit in a café and drink coffee, put cucumbers on your eyes, or download that elusive favorite childhood show on Netflix? Congratulations, you are consciously trying to make your life better instead of roaming the planet in an ungrateful stupor. It doesn’t take long to honor your own needs, and even if nobody else said this to you today I, for one, am proud of you!

Love yourself as if the end of the world is nigh.
Love yourself as if the end of the world is nigh.

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