I really love being a mom lately – mainly because I get to hand them off before I start feeling like I’m going to kill somebody. That is the advantage of being separated- you take turns parenting and bail out just as you’re running out of Herculean patience. I certainly wouldn’t have longed for a situation in which my children’s father and I were not together, but seeing as it happened, I’m not immune to its advantages.
So for all of you not living behind the proverbial picket fence with 1.7 children and an adoring spouse, here are 10 things that are great about having an unconventional family unit.
1. You’ve built your kids’ resilience- you told them the bad news, they wanted to die, now they’re over it and know they can get through anything.
2. You won’t bring them up in an environment that is conventional but full of disturbing undercurrents they can’t put a name to, until they grow up to name them, and blame you, in therapy.
3. If you and your former spouse were arguing a lot, your blood pressure’s probably lower now, thus you may have prolonged your life.
4. You’re not worried about what would happen if you broke up with your spouse, because it already happened and you survived it.
5. You feel more authentic; instead of slapping a big smile on your face for the kids and lying that of course you’re not irritated, you always throw pots and pans around when you’re happy.
6. You don’t have to hang out with his friends/clients/relatives anymore.
7. Since couples tend to socialize with each other, you get to avoid those bickering spouses you formerly called friends.
8. No one is telling you what to do, because even if you’re in a new relationship you’re not letting that shit happen again.
9. Your kids get more uninterrupted personal attention with each parent (as long as you don’t let the manipulative little devils pit you against each other).
10. Some days, in a stunning development unseen since you were pregnant with your kids, the ex takes the morning shift and you get to sleep in!!!