Kid Is Home From School, Say Goodbye To Your Plans

My kid is home from school and watching basketball movies. Now he is watching one for kids, after I walked in and saw his previous choice of street baller film, where people were fast and loose with the word motherfucker.

Yesterday he had to be picked up with a runny nose and body aches and spent much of the day shooting hoops outside. He said “westing is not in my vocabulawy” so of course today he is sicker and has to really chill out so he doesn’t miss his precious basketball game tomorrow. I imagine he is as obsessed as he will be with losing his virginity one day.

I have no idea how this kid gets his sports genes. I mean his dad is pretty sporty, but other than yoga, I’m kind of a dead loss. It’s not that I’m as uncoordinated as I was as a child, and I’m not that unfit, but I just hate excessive movement unless there’s a penis involved.

I know families who are all outdoorsy and I kind of envy them. Always camping, hiking, swimming in lakes infested with water snakes… Maybe I don’t envy them.

I do adore my eight year old’s passion though. He shoots baskets over and over and over again and will not quit no matter how many he misses. The nine year old is drawing comic books and filling up entire notebooks with them, and his drawings which started off crude and rudimentary, have become more and more sophisticated.

My kids get up in the morning and they know what they are supposed to do, and also what they want to do, and it is likely on any given day they will get to do both. How many of us can say that? I know I have told them that being a grown up is fun, but some days I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

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