Introducing a very special V-Day Promotion for your V. For the week before Valentine’s Day, I’m going to be road testing and blogging about a different sex toy every day. That’s right, because I’m a Saint (wait, Jews don’t have Saints) I am willing to try out the latest and greatest toys on the market, to improve your sex-life, either alone or with a partner (or several.) As someone who hasn’t had sex in six (6) weeks, I have already turned masturbation into an Olympic Event. Why not use it as an opportunity to educate, inform and entertain my readers?
Before you get ahead of yourselves, I am not becoming a webcam-girl (although that would be a great way to make a few bucks if I weren’t worried about my kids later unearthing mommy whacking it on the Internet.) I will not be playing with myself LIVE, but I will be very frank, fearless and funny as I explore all that the sex industry has made available for us, the horny consumers. In my new-found single status, I am uniquely cognizant of how important it is to continue an active sex life, even when one’s daytime focus is work and/or parenting and/or life. Toys will be reviewed for quietness, effectiveness and durability, and I promise that the blogs will never include the words, “Come on guys, go to bed! Mommy wants to go to her room and try out her new butt-plug.”
This marvel of riches which currently resides in a well camouflaged box is care of The Stockroom which, if you don’t already know, is THE coolest sex and BDSM shop in Los Angeles, and online. The owner JT started the business in his twenties in college, when he and his girlfriend were into “the lifestyle” (swinging) and found that the kink and BDSM equipment on the market was hard to find and poorly made, so they eventually started manufacturing their own, which they do in the back of their Silverlake location. They were on the Internet in 1988, when it was still some weird message board thing. They make everything onsite from latex clothing (featured below) to cuffs and collars, restraints, fetish gear, harnesses, paddles, floggers and whips, and stock some of the most well-made toys on the market.
So hang in—in just a few days, I will start my odyssey into the greatest available pleasure tools of 2014, mostly alone, but for the last few days with a willing participant. At the same time, I will continue to parent my two children, smashing the taboo, once and for all, that a woman cannot be highly sexual and also a mom. It’s a MILF experiment, if you will, and I hope you’re as excited about it as I am (though let’s face it, it’s not hard for me to get excited nowadays.)
Also one lucky reader will win a giveaway on Valentine’s Day of a limited edition cuff and collar set with 18k gold hardware.
So take a good look at me in the latex maid’s outfit below, as that is the first and last time I will ever be happy about housework… What kind of woman fantasizes about cleaning? I don’t know, but perhaps you will help me find out. Please write to me about your fantasies, kinks and experiences, both with your partner and not. I aim to be the pied piper of MILFs, come follow me into the glorious land of the multiple O…