Electro Slut

You want me to what?
Photo by Ray Mickshaw

Let me start out by saying I am not comfortable with electricity. I scream if I get a static shock and a balding chord is enough to make me throw out an appliance. So how on earth was I going to incorporate the Neon Wand Electrosex kit into my self-love odyssey? It turns out, that with a friend/partner/rent-a-fuck you trust, this tool is incredible.

The only rule with the Neon Wand Electrosex Kit is don’t wear any metal. That’s it. Some of the other toys I’ve been trying say no pacemaker as well, so that’s included. (No Neon Wand wand for Iron Man.) So naked is best. Naked is fun. Naked is awesome, even if you are afraid that you’ve just signed up for at home electroshock. (Not that I haven’t considered it.)I had some trepidation as my friend had me lie on my stomach, but he had already taken the Neon Wand overnight to experiment on himself. Also we’d been playing for a little while at that point, so he had some idea of how I responded. (Which, if you’re wondering, is a lot and loudly.) He started experimenting with different attachments, and different strengths, starting from the lowest possible voltage and moving up according to my cues.

The feel of the wand varies a lot depending on what part of the body it’s touching. Down the backs of the legs=sensitive. On the flesh of the buttocks=barely feel it. But lest you think it’s time to turn up the juice, right before you change to the inner thigh, or closer to the butt crack, that=ouch. Fortunately there was very little ouch, and lots of oooh, as the wand was lightly dragged up and down the backs of my thighs and. …Mmmmm. That’s one. Yay!

Then came the really sensational part. Once again I must raise a toast to science, because that elusive thing called “sexual chemistry,” you know that thing that gradually dies in many relationships, that feeling that makes your whole body tingle in the first three months of meeting someone? It turns out they can now manufacture that IN A LAB.

I don’t know about you, but this blows my mind. All you do is strap the flat part of this Kinklab Neon Wand Power Tripper:
… to yourself or your playmate and voila, you are a human conductor for electricity! Each touch is like that first time when sparks still flew between you (literally) or in the case of someone you have little natural chemistry with, a simulation of being extremely turned on by him or her. Or if you’ve been married for a hundred and fifty years, you might actually remember a time when butterflies were in your stomach (and lower) from a single touch of your now platonic partner. At one point during this experiment, I have to confess to getting a little teary, because the sensation of my friend with electricity vibrating off his body was identical to the feeling I used to get with a certain ex, without a generator. And that was well after three months… but I quickly came back to the moment, when my companion put his tongue on my clitoris.

Oh. My. G-d. This guy was amazing at licking pussy anyway, but with the extra voltage, I thought I was going to hit the ceiling. I don’t know how many times I came, but I do know that afterwards I lay there like a beached seal pup, except totally satisfied, and with no other place I needed to be… I was lolling like a life-size ragdoll for some time on my friend’s bed (minutes? hours? light years) when it occurred to me to wonder what my old Orthodox Jewish School would make of the territory I’d been exploring lately. I snorted out loud, right as my partner brought in the restraints…

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