Happy Valentine’s Day

Hope you enjoyed my foray into masturbation and S&M as much as I did! Also that you’ve had a day full of love or sex or at least not too much bitterness. I thought I would post this love poem in honor of the Day of Love:
I will never fuck you again
If you come on bended knee
With elbows all bloody
From shards of glass
That you’ve had to crawl past,
I will never fuck you again.
If you beguile me with tears
And your wiles and your smiles
If you have hours to live-I
will come and sit Shiva,
If you’re the last guy on earth
I will save you a berth
But I will never fuck you again.
If I’m a ninety year old nun
renouncing vows just for fun
Or an octogenarian
With cats and canaries and
Cobwebs in my nethers
But a closet full of leathers,
If you show up at my place
I’ll slam the door in your face
Like a vacuum salesman
I’ll never fuck you again.
If the apocalypse comes tomorrow
And I am dying of nuclear sorrow
If Mafiosi hold guns to my head
Saying “Fuck him or you’re dead,”
If there is truth in your lies
Volcanic heat in my thighs,
If Obama calls on my cel
I’ll say, “Please go to hell”
If he says says “Come on girl,
give it a whirl,”
I will ask to speak to Michelle,
But I will still never fuck you again.
But that doesn’t mean I don’t want you to ask…

Guess who won our contest for the Limited Edition Valentine’s Kit from The Stockroom? It is… @InsatiablyTaken! Lucky, lucky you.

Thanks for all the love, please keep reading and reaching out, you make me want to live (but no pressure.) XOXO Susanna

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