How To Date A Sadist

1. Excel at making the same mistakes over and over. The more times you let the sadist back into your life after swearing not to, the more times they can fuck with your head! They’re precious that way.
2. Be empathic/empathetic. Sociopaths love a supportive ear- if you’re a giver, you’ll certainly attract one eventually. Keep the faith!
3. Have childhood trauma. What’s the point of being with a sadist if they can’t trigger some forgotten nightmare from your past? Surely a wasted opportunity your sadist would never pass up…
4. Be gullible. An accomplished sadist won’t reveal their true colors right away-at first they will sweep you off your feet and shower you with “love,” they may even cry! Then they will withdraw their affection in small degrees, telling you you’re imagining it. If you believe everything you hear, this will make things much easier for both of you.
5. Be vulnerable. Sadists never saw an open heart they didn’t want to infiltrate, possess, and then trash like Keith Richards in a hotel room.
6. Be on the verge of a huge life change, or have just made one. If you are in a difficult life transition, you will cling to your sadist as a saving grace, before you realize that you are actually in mid-air, clinging to an anvil like in a Roadrunner cartoon.
7. Be sexually starved. Not for nothin’ your sadist knows how to fuck, and they certainly know how to fuck the sense right out of you, then use sex to manipulate and control the “relationship.” If you haven’t had sex for a long time, or never had sex as great, it’s certainly a plus!
8. Be a rule breaker. That way when friends and family start warning you that you’ve picked a bad egg, you can put it down to them not being “edgy” enough.
9. Be insecure. Insecurity is cat nip to the sadist-it’s a real chore trying to torture someone with high self-esteem, for some reason they just won’t put up with it.
10. Be a masochist. Unless you derive perverse pleasure from being hurt, manipulated and abused, please leave the sadists for those of us who do!

Photo by Ray Mickshaw

I hope these tips help, and don’t forget to enjoy the suffering!!!

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