Don’t Call Me A Cougar

I’m technically a Puma (sl.) a woman in her 30’s who dates guys more than 11 years younger than herself. A Cougar (sl.) is a woman in her 40’s who dates much younger dudes, and I have at least a few more months left of Puma-dom before I go full Cougar. Do you know what you call a guy who dates much younger women? A guy.
These terms suggest a certain predatory quality which I don’t believe is accurate. Sure I’m direct when I’m interested in someone, but that doesn’t mean I’m pouncing on their backs, talons extended, intent on tearing them limb from limb with my canine teeth. (Depending how long it’s been, of course.)
I seem to be attracting guys in their twenties at the moment, which is just fine with me. I love them for the same reason I complained about them in my twenties-they’re only after one thing. Now that I’m after the same thing, I’m happy to oblige. Here are the reasons I’m digging younger men right now:

1. They are closer to the cradle than the grave, so they have a certain optimism.
2. They don’t have ex-wives whose cosmetic surgery they are legally obligated to pay for.
3. They don’t have wives they are pretending don’t exist.
4. They don’t have a schedule full of Little League commitments, dance class drop-offs and parent/teacher conferences. I got enough of that on my own, and don’t want to be bored to death by their sharing about how the ump called little Timmy’s pitch out when it was safe, Bella will be in the Kirov one day, and the homeroom teacher just doesn’t get Joanie’s sensitivity.
5. They have stamina. And I don’t mean for hiking.
6. They have maybe one or two heartbreaks behind them so they aren’t as worn out by an extra twenty years of women’s bullshit.
7. They don’t have as much men’s bullshit– ideas about what a woman should or shouldn’t be, and don’t tend to judge how often I leave dishes in the sink.
8. They still have dreams that haven’t been squashed by the realities of living in the dystopian wonderland called America. (And who am I to tell them the statistics on how those dreams will end?)
9. I don’t know who taught these Gen X-ers to fuck, but they are open to just about anything. (I suspect it was Internet porn, but I’m not asking any questions.)
10. They don’t criticize my driving, because their other option is the bus.

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