1. I have a hot young girlfriend.
2. I want to change career paths, but maybe I just want to have the same career and be successful at it. (Once again it’s a pity I haven’t figured out how to monetize having orgasms.)
3. My kids are seriously cramping my style. I’m like a female version of that male trope who abandons his kids to go after pussy, except I can’t abandon them as I live with them. Where would I go?
4. I am bored by people my own age, with few exceptions (you know who you are and I love you) I want to hang out with young people who use terms like “ratchet,” “Turn down for what?” and know what “trap” music is.
5. I am bored by almost everything- can’t finish watching a show or a movie because I feel like I’ve already seen the ending to everything that has ever existed.
6. I want to move to a different city where no one knows me and start again, but then I would have to delete too much social media. (Physical addresses are temporary but the Internet is forever.)
7. I hate old people because soon I will be one.
8. I got a tattoo a while back- and am probably going to get another one if I can just figure out on which day in my cycle it will be the most painless (hint: there’s no such day.)
9. All I want to think about are my “glory days” when I was on TV or doing shows, even though I’m aware it all looks far better in hindsight.
10. I vape.
(Trying to re-frame depression as an existential crisis because I can no longer take medication. Is it working?)

#12 When I realized I’ve been so stupid, I’m actually smart.
Hahaha yes!
You have a hot girlfriend…thanks, rub my nose in it why don’t you? (okay that sounds worse than I meant it)…I’m 54 so I hate really old people…when I was younger a ‘selfie ‘ required a copy of Hustler and we all know ‘trap music’ is another name for the Wedding March…
Funny how time flies… Wedding march- funny! I miss my shackles
Susanna live your life to the fullest then do it again if you do not only you will be disappoint Love your girfiend until the end of time
Slow down man we’re just dating… But thanks for reading as always!