Question: What’s Scarier Than Halloween?

Answer: Other people, in their “human being” costumes. So many of us live with so many different types of fear, we are not even aware of them. And yet we can’t allow ourselves to be intimidated by it, not when other people act out of fear towards us with hurtful or inappropriate behavior, or when it turns inwards into self-hate, self-sabotage and or even self-harm. Lately I am talking to the women in my life trying to empower them to be there for themselves. Turning against ourselves is the worst thing we can do when life throws stuff at us, and I don’t mean fun stuff like confetti. When I turn instead to the source of my inner light I never have to worry that that light will abandon me, let me down, or turn up at my doorstep when I least expect it demanding candy and sexual favors.

What scares me lately is how involved I got with people without knowing them. I thought of myself as a guy when it came to sex, except guess what? I’m not a guy. Not even today when I have a beard. I still don’t have even a single testicle and I’m grateful for that. (They seem to get in the way, especially in yoga pants.) The most female part of me, however, is the tendency to accept shame and blame that is not mine. I can accept responsibility, but also know that most people come with both a treat and a trick, and you can’t get one without the other. I wrote the script to this particular story, as I have accumulated some toxic space junk, it must now be purged back into the Universe. Which is appropriate as I have long felt that my love life could be played out against the sound track to “2001: A Space Odyssey.”

Life is hard enough without creating further drama, but it takes some of us longer to learn that than others. That’s why once a year we dress up in scary costumes and experience the adrenaline of our fears. But some of us forget that Halloween is not all year round, and we don’t need to be steeped in our dark sides, or be fascinated with dark people. Sometimes we think we have learned this and then time passes and we feel a need to learn it again. This doesn’t mean that we can then allow ourselves to be victimized. The most important thing in fearful circumstances, is maintaining your contact with yourself. Treating yourself like your own greatest love interest ensures a level of peace and security that I had never known. When you and you are tight no one can fuck with you. What’s sad and disappointing is just how many times they will try…

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