10 Things A Woman Wants To Hear In Bed

1. “You’re so tight.” I’m not here to debate the size and shape of a woman’s interior, but I know for a fact if a woman is turned on, her insides contract. Telling her she’s tight will make her contract, hence be tighter, making the statement true. Also, you could download this Kegel exercises app, making orgasms stronger for you both. (It’s almost a self-fulfilling prophecy.)

2. “I’m all yours.” This is not a promise of picking out wedding cutlery, just a beautiful thing to hear (when sincere!) whether you’re dominating a man or submitting to him. In that moment he is offering himself completely to her whims which can be über hot.

3. “I want to taste you.” The same women who have benefited from hook-up culture (we’re all getting laid, yay!) sometimes report losing in the area of receiving oral. Some men class this as “more intimate” except that if your dick has been in her mouth, that kinda sorta already implies a little intimacy, dontcha think? (Go down, be invited back, I always say.)

4. “You taste so good.” When he does go down, reassurance every woman likes, even if she doesn’t need it. Nice to know all that grooming, good diet and hygiene payed off. The natural smell and taste of a well ph balanced vag is likely to please a het dude, a gay lady, or any other permutation of People Who Love Vaginas, so why not verbalize that? Do not make her hang a Little Tree over it.

5. “You’re so hot.” Even if you know you are, and especially if you don’t, it doesn’t hurt to hear it, especially from someone who’s ploughing your crannies.

6. “What do you want me to do to you?” In the language of BDSM this would be giving her the opportunity to “top” from the “bottom.” The man might still be dominating, but he is doing it in the manner she requests.

7. “Your skin is so soft.” Unless she’s a farmer, her skin will probably be softer than another man’s. Tell her so, or perhaps this is the time of life when you explore that secret farmer fetish.

8. “That feels amazing.” Even if you’re not that verbal in the sack, people adjust themselves to their sex partner with aural cues. Breathing and sounds are an excellent way to let someone know they are on the right track. Telling someone directly is also helpful, unless you’re fucking a psychic.

9. “Look at your_________.” Insert favorite body part here… Also included in this is “Look at that _________.” Even if she’s not a complete exhibitionist, women love to be visually appreciated, and don’t mind a little filthy reminder that their assets have been duly noted for the record.

10. Ask her. The best way to figure out what your lady is into, is to make like Sherlock motherfucking Holmes and investigate that shit. Every single one of us has a sexuality that is as unique as a thumbprint and wants nothing more than to be discovered. Also, the depth of our experience is difficult to encompass in a listicle, as some women love being told what to do in the sack, some even want to be (consensually) humiliated. (Do not try this unless you are sure it’s on the menu.) Even for those women who enjoy a kinkier edge, a truly-felt “I love you” may still be the world’s greatest lubricant…

Need more help getting in touch with your own instincts when it comes to women? Email me to see if a Sexual Intuitive® coaching session is what you need.





  1. I smiled the whole way through reading this. Brilliant.
    3 and 4 have been go tos of mine for years. One because I love going down on a woman and two because I have always had a really good reaction when saying this. Especially in the heat of battle whispering in a woman’s ear during foreplay ” I want to taste you” goes down ( see what I did there ) very well. As do I 🙂
    The only time ” I want to taste you ” didn’t work was when I whispered it to a woman in line at the supermarket 🙂
    (I’m joking of course)
    Love to you xxx

    • It’s a conversation that must be had, even though it’s a tough one. If you email me at sexualintuitive@gmail.com, I can advise you specifically on how to communicate this, as we all communicate differently, not to mention on her side, that we all respond differently. Whether it is worth bringing something like that up depends how close your relationship is with this person. Even if you’re moving on, you would do her a big favor to let her know in a KIND way that this is an issue. Vaginal odor is usually caused by BV – Bacterial Vaginitis – and most cases of it (and ph that is too alkaline) can be cured by food grade Boric acid capsules inserted into the vagina in Size 0 gelatin capsules. Don’t hand her a Google printout or anything, but dietary changes and Boric acid can work miracles. All of this is assuming you know what a normal vagina smells like. It’s not supposed to smell like flowers, fruit or anything that resembles Mountain Glade. Women who use “feminine douche”, “feminine wash,” or soap products that have perfume in them can also unbalance their vaginal acidity, although those women might still have great personalities, and should really understand that a natural pussy smell is delicious. A little fecund is good and normal, depends on the time of the month…

      • You say “I have an idea – let’s shower together, it’s sexy!” and then you can wash each other over and THEN return to the oral.

      • My guy friends always used to recommend using my finger to make a stinky girl taste her own brand, but then my guy friends are not the most sensitive people

  2. How is shaming men’s sexuality if they don’t like performing oral sex anything but offensive?

    • I’m not shaming anyone. If giving head is not part of your sexuality then hopefully you will find someone for whom it’s not part of theirs. I’m commenting on what the women I know including myself like to hear- and calling out the bullshit excuse of “it’s more intimate than sex.” I am too way out sexually to shame anyone. Thanks for responding.

      • If only men had enough representations, reinforcement and reflections of their sexuality… men’s sexuality is such a hidden, esoteric and fragile thing, thank you for keeping up the fight against my obvious misandry.

      • Okay, but you do see how “If you’re a heterosexual male, I assume you like the taste, smell and texture of a glorious vagina- otherwise perhaps you should look into sucking a dick?” is clearly offensive.

      • Only if you find humor offensive. I’m teasing- of course it doesn’t make you gay if you don’t like licking pussy- it’s just a strike back for disappointed women. You have to admit, we are kind of the underdog…

  3. […] explain why. How could I abandon my (mostly) anonymous readers, leaving them stranded in a sea of unironic listicles, meaningless sex pointers and uninspired blowjob tips? How could I forsake those who reached out […]

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