10 Signs You Are Not Needy

1. You don’t have anyone blocked on your phone, email or social media. Anyone who calls or texts you, you can handle it without getting hurt, emotional or spun out. (Now might be the time to let you know my blocked caller list exceeds 100.)
2. You throw birthday parties without any stress; people will show up or not, either way a couple of friends and yourself will ensure you have a good time. (Mostly I just skip birthdays.)
3. When you fuck someone, you never have to hear from them again after they shut the door behind them. (Just one text the next day, is that too much to ask?)
4. You sleep well. (I used to, when I had one dedicated person to be needy with.)
5. You don’t even notice how long it takes an employer to get back to you about a job, even after you’ve followed up. (You may be literally hungry, but you’ve already moved on.)
6. You don’t own a full-length mirror, you know the shit looks good before you leave the house.
7. You can read YouTube comments and it doesn’t move the needle.
8. You really believe that old horseshit maxim, “What other people think of me is none of my business…” as opposed to knowing it’s true, but secretly believing otherwise.
9. You don’t care if you go 100 swipes without a match on Tinder, you know you’re awesome! (And you would certainly never go on Facebook to follow up on someone you swiped on Tinder. Nope. Never.)
10. Under your High School yearbook picture it says nothing. You never needed to seek approval with that witty caption shit.

P.S.- Congrats! You might also be a sociopath.


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