1. When It Comes To Penis Size, Bigger is Better.
Patent nope. Some women have a specific fetish for a gigantic member, but it is not necessary to hit the fun spots, so please stop worrying about it. Like geometry, it’s all about the angles. For everything else, there’s Mastercard.
2. If A Woman Is Sexually Confident You’re Entitled To Fuck Her.
I don’t know how to break this to you kids, but a woman doesn’t owe you sex. If she’s the biggest “slut” on earth, she still has the right to discriminate.
3. A Slut Doesn’t Discriminate.
Sometimes knowing how much you like chocolate cake makes you even more careful how often you eat it. Ditto with dicks.
4. Women Who Like Sex Are Somehow Worse Than Men Who Like Sex.
Even if a woman eats TONS of cake, doesn’t mean you can treat her with disrespect.
5. If A Woman Has Rape Fantasies It Means She Wants To Be Raped.
Many women fantasize about everything from a rape to a train to a clown gangbang – doesn’t mean we want any of those things in real life. Just like that time you put on a cape and jumped off the roof it didn’t make you a super hero.
6. All Porn Is Bad.
There’s nothing wrong with visual stimulation, and finding out what turns you on. Just don’t think that…
7. All Porn Is Good.
Some people’s views can get distorted by too much porn, not enough humans. I’m looking at you Bro. We ain’t all going to be lit like that, have perky tits like that or make those polite little yelps.
8. All Sex Workers Have Been Molested.
There are plenty of pornstars, camgirls, and sex workers empowered by making money from sex because they find sex pleasurable, profitable and perfect in its imperfection.
9. The Madonna/Whore Myth.
It’s 2015, and I know I’m a mom, but do I really have to pick just one? How about Madonna/Whore/Princess/Babygirl/Slut/Slave/Dominatrix/Clown/Goddess/Mommy/Media Mogul/etc.
10. A Woman’s Orgasm Is Less Important Than A Man’s
“It doesn’t matter that I didn’t come, I enjoyed it…” might be true, for now. But I look forward to a world where all women realize they have the innate physiological ability to orgasm, multiple times and multiple ways, may you find it NOW.
(These next 5 are courtesy of brilliant sex educator, speaker and somatic sex coach Charlie Glickman, with my added extrapolation.)
11. Guys Who Like Receiving Anal Pleasure Must Be Gay.
Sweetie, if I had a dolla… For every straight guy who can’t look a woman in the eye after she has found his sweet spot with a finger, a mouth or a strap-on, there are others quite willing to guide us there. Yay butt stuff!
12. The Only Place Sexual Pleasure Happens Is In The Genitals.
Check out Tantra if you would like to have an orgasm in pretty much every part of your body. Find out how to get into someone’s mind and be assured that it will reach the genitals without you ever touching them. Also, build up a sense of the sensual pleasure in everyday life and you might climax when the wind blows (inconvenient, but not if it happens in the brain.)
13. Sex Is Over When The Guy Ejaculates.
If I had another dolla… I grew up in a different time and place where this was most certainly true. Australian men in the 1990’s were not terribly aware of… much. However now we have something called “the Internet” and there is absolutely no reason why you can’t become a sex nerd and figure out that sex can go a million different enthralling ways! Also see #10 and don’t watch too much #7.
14. Your Level Of Arousal Indicates How Hard Or Wet You Are.
Word Dr. Glickman! Factors of shame, biology, and psychology impact those conditions so much more than whether someone excites you. In my experiences physiological reactions can be observed with curiosity and/or be an opportunity for healing, even when it feels personal. That said, I do love making a man wet…
15. What Kind Of Sex You Have Means Something About You.
Having lived for years around Mr. And Mrs. Judgey McJudgersons only to find that they were the kinkiest ones of all, let me contradict #5 and say if consensual clown gangbangs are your thing, then MORE POWER TO YOU. (Don’t forget to be safe and wear the nose.)
16. Sexual Confidence Comes From Being Good Looking.
It’s important to feel good in your body, but being an awakened woman, or an empowered man have little to do with outside appearances. You can’t assume someone is good in bed just because of how they look, and if you need help discerning whether they are click HERE.
17. The Only Way To Trust A Sexual Partner Is If You Know They’re Monogamous.
This is really its own post but I have two words for you “Ashley Madison.” Those people all thought they were fucking someone trustworthy, so how’s that monogamy working out for ya America? Far from ruining the “romance,” sometimes difficult, mature and honest conversations are the ones that lead to the most trust and ergo the hottest sex. (On the subject of #12, I am sexually aroused by the word “ergo.”)
18. Women Don’t Masturbate.
Some women don’t, but by Christ it’s changing and Duh! There is no better way to own your sensuality than to take your own pussy out for a test drive and see how many revs you get per second.
19. A Tighter Vagina Is Better.
For what? To make into a nice decorative basket? There are exercises and devices that can improve vaginal elasticity due to childbirth, trauma or biology. (For everything else there’s Sex Butter.) The most important part of this is mental – when a vagina is having an orgasm it is contracting and tighter, so that shit’s on you Bro.
20. Squirting Is Pee.
No. Just No. Just educate yourselves, it’s messy but it ain’t pee. (Trust me, I’ve tasted more squirt than you have. Moving on…)
21. Men Like Sex Better Than Women
People have varying sex drives, whether Cisgender male, female, queer, non-gender identified, transitioning, asexual, and on and on, because people have inherent contradictions. Women may have been taught to suppress their desires by a patriarchal society that feels safer if those desires are repressed, or men may have acquired shame about their drive or preference for something society deems “unacceptable.” Ultimately it is up to us to discover what turns us on, whom it turns us on with, and empower ourselves to (consensually) GO GET IT.