Fucking With Love

I haven’t been posting as much as I used to, and I feel moved to explain why. How could I abandon my (mostly) anonymous readers, leaving them stranded in a sea of unironic listicles, meaningless sex pointers and uninspired blowjob tips? How could I forsake those who reached out saying I had re-invigorated their sex lives and/or made them understand that women could be as lusty as men and/or given them boners/lady boners.

I have been called brave and honest (if exhibitionism were brave and honest) and also some other not-as-nice things that don’t make it to a public comment forum because sometimes you get to erase the graffiti off the toilet wall before it even appears! Of course I miss titillating you, but there’s only so much anonymous titillation a chick can manage for free…

Sometimes in life, you just hit a wall, and sometimes that wall is a paywall. Since time immemorial, humans have wondered how to monetize the Internet (or at least since 1997.) Since 2009, I myself have churned out hundreds of posts that have garnered hundreds of thousands of views, and for someone who used to bust my ass to get 60 people out to see a single one-person-show, this has been thrilling. Every comment, every like, every Facebook share (most of which were sadly wiped out when I changed my site over to RealSexDaily.com in the big WordPress Tech Livechat Of 2016) have warmed every single one of my cockles, made them hot and squishy and wet… oh there I go titillating you again.

I aim my material at women, men and any gender than relates to having a cock and/or pussy. So not just straight/cis/white/middle-class-and-up people. Certainly not just to the old or the youngs, or monogamous or married or even slutty people. When married I was like a child with money (Look Daddy the lights! They magically stay on!) and in the past that naivete may have lost me gigs and readers and most certainly self-respect. As I have grown up and into a new independence, so I lost the motivation to continually generate what they call “free content” for your entertainment pleasure. They cost me something, you see, these little nuggets, and the advice in them is hard won and well-lived. Dear reader, I chugged all that baby batter just for you

Now that my lovelife has become a party of one- well two, I guess, including me, so more of a pas de deux really, forgive me if I’m less inclined to share. Be assured that I have not compromised anything in the area of complementing drives with my current love, and find myself not only matched, but overly so. This person is, in all the best ways, filthy and since they found me through my writings in this very forum, I guess I can’t be surprised. What surprises me most is I feel a great need to protect this love affair. Either that, or I’m too busy fucking to write about it…

I know this is unpopular. As a modern woman I’m supposed to keep marching to the beat of the productivity drum, without missing so much as one hot yoga. I’m not supposed to allow myself an erotically disturbed state, even one that makes me a demonstrably better parent. In my opinion and experience though, sometimes you have to allow life to shake your shit up. Much better to move forward towards an authentic goal, instead of mindlessly trudging towards what you thought you wanted.

Speaking of authenticity, someone had an opinion about me changing the blog name:

“Why did you change your name? Your BRAND is Malibu Mom…”

“I haven’t lived in Malibu for over a year, though I still have ties to it, and I don’t write almost at all about parenting, other than tweets. It wasn’t honest.”

“Honest? This is MARKETING!”

“Malibu Mom sounds like she will help you source five locally grown types of mayonnaise for your arugula,” I reply, “I’m not a #lifestyle maven. Let’s move on…”

I have written about hook-ups with Millenials, group sex, getting off with toys, BDSM and being a MILF, mostly out of a desire to claim that porn search word as an actual powerful voice- for us breeding cows that dared procreate and luxuriate even more in our bodies’ delights than before.

What is most embarrassing and unfortunate to this sex writer, is being reminded that sex when I am in love, with all the attendant chemistry and depth, is so far superior to casual sex that I have literally forgotten what it was like to have sex with anyone else. THIS IS NOT TO SAY THAT THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH CASUAL SEX. Fortunately, because of this blog, if I ever forget what sex with others was like, I can always look it up…

I write for yourtango, afterparty, and sexpert. I’ve written a book, which I am proud of, though it comes from another time when I was altogether different, I am working on another book and will most certainly let you know!

I also have a growing coaching practice as a Sexual Intuitive® I see clients on Skype and in my office off Topanga Canyon in Los Angeles. I also teach workshops, one is called 10 Energies To Spark Your Sex Life and I would be honored to have you attend.

So sometime soon, I will be hustling you to show up. To a workshop, to get a book, or book a session. Mostly, to show up for yourself. And also soon: to a podcast on iTunes – “Glad you Came.” If your gut says “yes” then listen to it. You can get most of your needs met most of the time. I know it is true because I have lived it, and so can you.

Until then I leave you with my new message, “You can fuck without love, but you definitely shouldn’t fuck with it.” And if you know what I mean by that, then you get me. That’s payment enough for now…

Susanna Brisk is a Sexual Intuitive® who coaches clients and couples to discover what they like, what they need, and how to get it. You can email her HERE.

3 comments

  1. Congratulations on it all and I will look forward to your local show hopefully somewhere in LA. Moving there very soon. And some of us totally get that sex / making love (or whatever anyone wants to call it) with one person can be everything one needs…as long as the kink meter continuums are aligned (whether mild to wild). Enjoy and definitely don’t fuck with it.
    Thanks for your blog and musings. You rock!

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