How The Right Is Missing The Point On the Trump Tape

It is fascinating that Trump is only now losing the support of the mainstream GOP, since his comments on a 2005 TV show were made public by the Washington Post. After saying horrifying things that negatively stereotype all Muslims, all Mexicans, all refugees, all African Americans and all non-Christians, it is interesting that this random macho comment about women has been judged by his party as inexcusable. And the reaction says more about society, than it does about someone who has already proven himself to be a leaking orange cyst on society’s uterus.

This is a man who has said that women should be punished for seeking abortions and repeatedly objectified his own daughter, fat-shamed a crowned Miss Universe, and publicly slandered Rosie O’Donnell for not being the “female ideal.” (This is besides bragging about not paying taxes.) So why are these particular unguarded remarks considered to be so far beyond the pale?

First of all, the idiocy of saying anything when behind a live mic can be attested to by any amateur podcaster in Los Angeles. So on this level, it was a completely unsophisticated move, unlike someone who eats KFC on his private jet in a carefully staged attempt to look “folksy.”

Jeb Bush has come out against Trump (in a perfect move of beta vs. Alpha revenge) saying that the comments offend him because of his “precious grand daughters.” Paul Ryan will not speak in the same room as him, and neither will his running mate Mike Pence. All are proclaiming themselves “family men” who are offended on behalf of their “wives and daughters.” And as social conservatives prone to pearl clutching, once again they are missing the point.

The degrading part about what Trump said was not that he referred to grabbing a woman’s pussy, or kissing her, it’s that he was talking about doing it WITHOUT HER CONSENT. Your precious flower of a wife or daughter or mother also has a pussy, and depending on which one of those she is to you, you have also grabbed it, or your son-in-law has, or your dad, and she has liked it; but only because she expressly communicated to them or you that that was what she wanted.

We women do not need to be sheltered from aggressive [scary] male sexuality. We already figured it out the first time we ever put on a mini skirt as teenagers. We understand that you’re horny dogs, and we have come to terms with that. What we have also accepted, is that a great many of us are even hornier than you are, and we are relying on neither you nor anyone else to be the keepers of our unsullied purity. We got this, gentlemen, cease and desist.

Also, and I know this is going to be very hard for some of you to understand, but we are not just “wives” and “daughters” and “mothers,” believe it or not we exist as people outside of our relation to you. In fact many women have elected to identify with none of these monikers, and yet are still worth of equality and protection of our basic rights. And your lack of understanding that, though you couch it in faux Christian rhetoric, makes you exactly the same as Donald Trump.

Sadly for the GOP we do not live in Victorian England, nor is this 1950s Kansas, and so we are entitled to agency over our bodies and our sexual choices. I have known THOUSANDS of women in my life, and very few of them would take any amount of money to be with a man like Donald Trump, let alone be flattered by a sexual assault, from him or anyone else. We are not expendable accessories to you, pussy grabbing or nah.

The reason that Trump’s comments are so disturbing is that they reveal in full strength his misogyny; the delusional idea that because he is a rich male celebrity he is entitled to use a woman as he sees fit, and that there are women lining up to be used in this way. It has nothing to do with the crudeness with which he expressed his twisted idea of reality, nor Billy Bush’s lewd beta kissing-up-to-papa’s agreement. What troubled the GOP about the whole exchange was also the fact that a man might try something with a married woman who might be one of their wives. Not cool brah, not cool.

The locker room talk part of this is the least disturbing thing about it- it is not unusual for people to talk crudely, some of us like to talk that way- that’s why we have R-Rated movies, and pornography and uncensored rap music. Our President listens to rap music that has those kinds of lyrics and yet has somehow managed to honor both his daughters and his wife, not only by a lack of sexual hypocrisy, but by clearly showing by both his policies and behavior, that he is a man who sees women as worthy of respect.

Not all sex scandals are created equal, though in typical oversimplification, Trump’s supporters are now comparing his words with the Clinton indiscretions, as usual blaming Hillary for what happened with Monica Lewinsky. Except that, despite the power imbalance, what happened with Lewinsky happened consensually, as she has long maintained. Clearly the idea of parading Gennifer Flowers at the debate has little to do with the moral high ground, and more about contempt for anyone getting caught.

Trump has repeatedly called out other candidates for “sexual perversion” including bashing Huma Abedin for staying with Anthony Weiner, calling Barbara Bush a “sexual deviant” and gay people “pathological.” And yet none of this was a dealbreaker for the Christian right and alt-right, who prefer their perversions no less filthy, but always private. There’s a reason why sex workers, male and female, do great business during GOP conventions and it is because what you repress will eventually come out and bite you in the ass (even if ass biting is not what you’re into.)

When no one is listening, people reveal themselves to be who they are, and yet Trump has already publically revealed himself over and over to be a deranged megalomaniac blind to any agenda other than other cis-white hetero megalomaniacs. And to his followers, I suggest this: you can’t hate Blacks, Jews, Muslims, Mexicans, gays, perverts and women. You gotta pick one (okay, maybe two, and hate the others secretly.) How ironic that it is the very pussy the GOP so fears that might take down Trumps chance at the Presidency. Forget “I’m with Her” how about a new slogan: pussies-unite

 

14 comments

  1. You are completely brilliant and have clarified his pathology — and that of the “pearl clutching” right — better than any of the talking heads.

  2. Thank you, thank you. “Not all sex scandals are created equally.” It has been driving me crazy that Trump’s sexual assaults, verbal and physical, are equated with consensual relationships. It is obvious to me that what Trump wants and enjoys is power and control. He is a malignant narcissist and would not understand the dynamics of an actual sexual “relationship”.

  3. […] The Alpha, Beta and Omega categories are starting to become tired as psychological tropes, though to some people the hierarchy itself has become it’s own kink. The toxic overflow of the Alpha mentality is a result of generations of those American men taught they shouldn’t cry or be emotional, and that if they go after what they want with ruthless aggression, they are entitled to have it. Unfortunately when you apply this philosophy to women, what you get are rage, assault and Donald Trump. […]

  4. […] The Alpha, Beta and Omega categories are starting to become tired as psychological tropes, though to some people the hierarchy itself has become it’s own kink. The toxic overflow of the Alpha mentality is a result of generations of those American men taught they shouldn’t cry or be emotional, and that if they go after what they want with ruthless aggression, they are entitled to have it. Unfortunately when you apply this philosophy to women, what you get are rage, assault and Donald Trump. […]

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