How to Get Laid Using Your Intuition

An Excerpt from “How to Get Laid Using Your Intuition” available now on Kindle and paperback.
Prologue: You Already Got This

I didn’t have the worst childhood, but I can say with certainty that life pretty much sucked until I started getting laid. Sure, there were some fun times growing up as a Russian Jew in Australia; koalas, latkes, some rousing piano recitals… but once I got older and that cock went in, it hit some kind of magic button that said, “Everything will now and forever be okay.” Who knew happiness was lurking up behind my cervix?For a while there, I thought my love of sex and all things kinky was a sign I was a ‘sex addict.’ (It wasn’t.) It turns out that wanting to get laid is a good thing, but you wouldn’t know it if you’re looking for clues in our culture. We’re inundated with contradictory tips, tricks, and techniques that may ‘drive your lover crazy’ literally. We’ve been taught to hold it like a basket, suck the tip like it’s ice cream, and lick the shape of the alphabet, but how are we supposed to know in what font?

You don’t have to have a high sex drive or a low one to be ‘normal.’ You can just be you, wadded up tissues and all. Despite what you might have been taught by your parents, your church, or your friends, being horny is your greatest ally. If your desire is inconsistent, that’s understandable considering your parents, your church, and your friends. For now, it’s okay just to want to want sex, despite the seeming evidence that Lucy/Lucifer will snatch the football away at the last moment.

In this book I’ll show you that most of what you believe about getting laid is not helping you. This is especially true when it comes to some kind of magical pickup tips/tricks/techniques that work to melt anyone’s panties/jockstrap/loincloth. The majority of what we’ve been taught about sex is a lie and what we believe about ourselves a distortion–believe it or not, this is the good news. Getting laid is supposed to be natural and easy, and it will be, once you parse out and brush away all that has made it seem difficult.

The reason you haven’t figured out how to get laid with the regularity you want is not a failure on your part. It’s not a lack of intelligence, charm, or looks that has brought you to this juncture. In fact, it may have been frustrating for you to watch people with far less attributes than you sail towards the fuck-appointments of their dreams. What do they know that you don’t?

At this point dating may be fraught with so much frustration and misery (with a side of hot rage) that you’ve given up. By the end of this book, I promise you’ll have the tools to get most of your sexual needs met, most of the time. I know this because I’ve been where you are, and because of my own journey, have helped thousands of others find their true sexual expression, both through my writing and Sexual Intuitive® coaching.

America is based on the idea that if you search far and wide, and throw down enough cold cash, we got a cure for what ails ya. They’ve told us to text/not text, be logical/follow your heart, wait/fuck–in order to sell us the cure. Except that in order for us to buy what they’re peddling, they have to convince us there’s something ‘off’ about us that needs fixing. We’re all drooling morons and only their product/service/idea can save us.

It’s the same implication used in advertising that your looks, life, and experiences are somehow inferior to what is out there somewhere. Most of the advice dispensed about sex, love, and relationships comes with the idea that you need help because you don’t know what the fuck you’re doing.

I’m here to tell you that you do… just not in the way you think. Together we will hack into the inner guidance system that will show you the next right action, based on both the situation, and the person, you find yourself in. You need never second-guess yourself again. (To help you navigate, you’ll find a glossary of terms, acronyms, and context of words the way I use them at the end of this book.)

But before you can begin to access your Sexual Intuition, you have to get real. Essentially, you have to be willing to look inside yourself before you can look inside someone else.

My favorite analogy for clients is let’s say you have a physical storage space full of junk you haven’t gone into for years and are now committed to clearing out. When you first walk in and switch on the light it’s a shitshow; more disorganized than you remembered, with moldy boxes full of horrifying childhood knick-knacks you’re somehow still attached to.

Was there any less mess a moment ago, when it was locked up in the dark behind a heavy door? Of course not, it just seemed more manageable because you couldn’t see it. Investigating that room means taking inventory of how you’ve been operating in the areas of sex and dating to figure out and discard, not what defines you, only what no longer serves. You don’t have to part with that blacklight Bruce Lee poster, I promise. So, let’s begin by bravely flipping on the lights…


“How to Get Laid Using Your Intuition” is available on Kindle and paperback RIGHT NOW for Valentine’s Day, 2018. To pre-order the audiobook, visit howtogetlaid.org!

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